Thanksgiving and Family
Thanksgiving week is upon is—many travel plans, feasts to savor, some time off from work to enjoy—these are all good things! I am wondering what comes up for you when you think about spending time with family this Thanksgiving—happiness and excitement? Anxiety and dread? Somewhere in between? For many, spending time with family brings to the surface the realities of the challenges relationships can face. I know that this isn’t the most joyous subject to talk about as we are approaching a holiday where we give thanks and express our gratitude. However, it is the truth for a lot of people: relationships can be hard and tight quarters and lots of family members in one space can magnify some of the difficulties.
So, here are some tips of encouragement for you as you enter this week with your family members who might be challenging to spend time around…
- Recognize what is within your control: YOU! Reminding yourself of what is in and out of your control is important so you don’t expend all of your energy trying to change someone else’s behavior. If you are frustrated, take some space. If you are irritated that you are providing a full turkey dinner for a party of 20, request that others each bring a dish. Realizing what you are in control of empowers you and helps you spend your energy in the most useful way.
- Put some structure into all the downtime. What are your plans after the big dinner? For some families, this is time to sit around for many hours, and is often when irritations with each other can surface. Maybe difficult topics of conversation happen or a family member’s habits or patterns begin to take over the time together. Putting a simple structure in place can keep things moving and reduce frustrations that can happen with idle space. For example: after the big dinner, taking a walk together, playing group games or board games, or watching a movie can be ways to engage time well.
- Realize that all emotions are fair game. As people, we experience a broad range of emotions and just because we are getting together with family does not mean we can temporarily get rid of the uncomfortable ones. Going into time with family realizing that you are probably going to experience some negative emotions helps you be prepared and also can help you in having a game plan with how you’ll respond to these emotions. For example, instead of having a full conversation about the political differences between you and your uncle, perhaps you recognize when anxiety about this is surfacing and choose to politely excuse yourself from the conversation. Awareness of your emotions and owning your own responses to these emotions is one of the keys to healthier more satisfying relationships.
For more information on behavioral health issues, or to seek assistance, go to http://www.pinerest.org
I’m not sure how November got here so quickly, let alone Thanksgiving! I asked several people what sort of recipes they wanted for the big day, and most of them told me the same thing. They wanted a delicious meal that didn’t take a lot of work. Also, it had to be somewhat affordable. With that in mind, I put together this delicious, easy-on-the-wallet Thanksgiving menu (with a few healthy “Shari” touches).
