Your colleague says: “You did an okay job with last week’s presentation.”

Your mother-in-law says: “Your house is clean enough but could use some attention to detail.”

Your partner says: “The meal you made tonight? It was alright.”

You tell yourself: “Parenting—hmmm…why can’t I get it together (seems like everyone else can)?”

Your supervisor says: “Job performance? Yep, you are meeting expectations.”

What do these statements bring out in you? Pride and satisfaction? Or, are you like me and recognize that there are some feelings of disappointment and guilt that, if you heard any of these statements, would be there if you were really being honest with yourself? I think it is safe to say, that striving for mediocrity is not on many people’s list of lifetime goals.

The truth is that there is such a drive in today’s culture to ‘have it all and have it all at once.’ We walk around believing and telling ourselves that we are “less than” if we don’t measure up to this impossible standard—to have everything in order, perfectly, all the time. Some personality styles adhere to this more than others, but I think that it is pretty clear that we are all affected in some way or another by unrealistic expectations…that others have of us or that we have of ourselves.

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Have you ever experienced a problem that has you end up feeling trapped, like there is no way out? Do you end up stewing, thinking about, and focusing on this struggle from day to day, leaving you feeling even more discouraged? Maybe you feel trapped in your job, experience frustration and misunderstanding in a relationship, or are upset at yourself for gaining some pounds over the past couple of years. Perhaps it’s just that the summer and change in routine has you spinning. Do you feel disorganized, depressed, overwhelmed?

I know how easy it is to focus on these concerns, to experience thoughts and feelings that consistently come back to the struggle you are experiencing. The focus is on the problem…day after day…this in itself can be overwhelming and discouraging.

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“Don’t be scared, just jump in!” said the swimming instructor to my 6 year old daughter, who nervously wrung her hands, her lip quivering. Hmmm…these words haven’t quite accomplished the magic that her teacher has hoped for this past week. The last week has been full of early morning lessons, lots of tears (my daughter’s that is), and lots of hugs. It’s been a different kind of week around my house, to say the least.

Some types of personalities don’t tend toward taking risks, or just “jumping into the pool”. You probably know if this is you. You like to play it safe, even down to ordering the same tasty entrée off the menu at your favorite restaurant each time you go. There is some genetic contribution to this –so thank your mom and dad! But,  if you are wanting to open yourself up to taking some risks, be encouraged to know that there are some aspects of this that are within your control. Often we create our own barriers to risk taking—letting certain fears or “what if’s” crowd out our desires and goals. We might hold on to our need for security and predictability or hold the belief that change is impossible, when the truth is that change just requires some openness to the unknown and a willingness to stumble along the way.

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