If your child is struggling with bullying, depression or suicide there are resources out there to help. Our friends at Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Services have provided the list below:
Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Services
1-800-678-5500 www.pinerest.org
Most of us are familiar with bullying in one way or another—maybe you were made fun of as a child and those memories come to mind when you hear about mean things said to your own child at school. Perhaps you are a teacher and wonder how and when to intervene with student behavior. Or, maybe an important child in your life is struggling with not wanting to go to school because of what they fear they will face. It is clear that bullying is a problem, a problem that is getting national attention. Michigan’s anti-bullying law goes into effect this month, which has brought refreshed attention to this concern. Many schools are providing education to teachers and students about prevention and intervention.
It is heart breaking when clients share with me how they have been intentionally tormented or hurt by their peers. It damages self esteem, affects school performance, and provides many challenges for victims of bullying throughout their lives.
Bullying is real-it’s happening in our schools, on our playgrounds, on-line and in our neighborhoods. In fact, 90% of all fourth thru eighth graders say they have been bullied or have bullied. Being bullied is nothing new, but what I am seeing is a new level of viciousness in both words and actions by kids younger than ever before. And, for some of these young victims they feel there’s no way out, no hope. I recently received an e-mail from a 12 year old girl. She said she has been bullied for the past four years and she fears she can’t take it any more. She expressed how she wants to end her life but she’s worried her mom won’t be able to go on without her. This is heart breaking!! I immediately called the mother and talked about the girl’s situation. I met with mom and the girl and shared resources available to them through their school and in their community. This young lady inspired me to do a whole “Where You Live” show on bullying, depression and hopelessness. This week on “Where You Live” this girl and several other West Michigan kids will share their stories. Another piece of the show is an interview with a 19 year old from Rockford who has created a video expressing his sadness and his journey to finding hope. He posted his video on YouTube where over 1 million people have viewed it and over 10,000 people have commented. The show will also include expert advise for parents who suspect their kids are being bullying and what the new anti-bullying law really means. Plus, we sit down with an 11 year old in Allegan that has taken her pain from being bullied and turned it into action giving hundreds of kids a safe place to share their stories! It’s a powerful show-every parent should watch, “Where You Live” Saturday at 7:30 a.m. and 7:30 p.m. on WOTV 4 and 6:30 p.m. on WOOD TV 8.
How are your resolutions coming along? Even though we’re still hanging on to January, it can be difficult to maintain momentum at this point in the year. The routine has started again, the stresses have returned. Winter has now arrived, so we often end up just wanting to do what is comfortable and familiar.
I’m sure many of you have set goals about improving fitness and exercising more frequently. Perhaps your body is something that brings negative thoughts to mind and you want that to change. Dieting and diet related products are a forty billion dollar a year industry—this speaks loudly to the truth that you are not alone—many people want their bodies to change!
It is very easy to be critical of ourselves–especially when we’ve set goals that aren’t turning out the way we had hoped. Thoughts of “I’m failing at this too” or “I knew that I would mess up, what’s my problem” start to take over the adrenaline and motivation we were experiencing a couple of weeks ago.
I want to encourage you to re-focus. Not just by doing more, by checking off that daily workout on your to do list, but by focusing on what is going on inside of you. Allow yourself to tune in to the chatter inside of your mind. Take a moment to ask yourself if the way that you talk to yourself is helpful and encouraging—to you and to others. When we are self critical, we often become more critical of others.
Attempting to re-focus might look something like this…if a typical thought of yours in response to a recently set goal is “I knew I wouldn’t be able to do this, why am I even trying,” attempt to put the feeling that underlies that comment into a statement that is self affirming and motivating. This could include statements like “This is hard, and I am learning how to be determined.” Another example could be “The effort put into this change is helping me become a stronger person.” Getting away from self criticism can be one of the first steps at becoming successful with the goals we set for ourselves.
For more information on behavioral health issues, or to seek assistance, go to www.pinerest.org.
The idea of paying for college can be extremely stressful for parents. Ryan LaRue of Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Services has some pointers for families on dealing with the stress that comes with financing college.
This time of year, many people make resolutions to rebuild broken relationships in their lives, or to reconnect as a family. Ryan LaRue of Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Services has some thoughts on where to begin.
Welcome to 2012- I hope the new year is off to a great start Where You Live! On this weekend’s show we’ll explore simple ways you can recharge, re-energize and revamp things for your family! We’ll shop with Shari from Meijer and see how simple switches in the groceries you buy can make a big difference in your family’s health. Our friends at Holland Aquatic Center will share great shape up moves you can do at home and Priority Health has five ways to make living healthier a little easier. A Pine Rest Expert will share practical ways to reconnect with those you love. Plus, you’ll love the great finds at Goodwill that will inspire you to re-do your wardward and your living room all for under $10!! Plus, it’s time to kick-off the 35th Anniversary of the Fifth Third River Bank Run-find out how you can get involved! Watch “Where You Live” this Saturday at 7:30 a.m. and 7;30 p.m. on WOTV 4 and Sunday at 11:30 on WOOD TV 8.
2012 has arrived—can you believe it? For most, the parties are over, the gifts unwrapped, school has begun. I’m enjoying hearing my clients reflect on the past year —listening to them share how they are growing and how they are working to overcome the obstacles they face in their lives. Being a goal setter myself, I look forward to carving out new ways to focus my time and energy this year. A lot of the goals that I’m hearing about lately have to do with body image, with friendships and family relationships, and with work and career. As I’m listening to people develop goals there are several things that consistently come to mind when I think of setting yourself up for success in working towards something that is important to you. I encourage you to keep these things in mind as you begin this new year.
When you set a goal, it’s helpful to focus on the process, not just the goal itself. For example, if you are trying to get into better physical shape, focusing on steps like “I’m going to work out three times per week” or “I’m going to eat one portion of dessert instead of two” can be more easily achieved than “I’m going to lose 20 pounds.”
Recognize what is realistic given your stage of life and other commitments. One helpful saying that I heard a long time ago is “You might be able to have it all, just not all at once.” If you are working full time and have teens at home, it might be difficult to accomplish a goal that involves a lot of extra time and energy! If you have an aging parent you are caring for, it may be unrealistic to develop a lot of new friendships over the coming months. If you are going through a very difficult transition, right now might not be the time to quit smoking. When you set goals, be real with yourself and allow for the possibility that the goal might need to be reset along the way.
Check in with your values when you are setting goals. It is often more motivating to work towards something when it clearly reflects a value of yours or feels purposeful to you. When you examine ways that you would like to be challenged this coming year, it is helpful to ask yourself how your pursuits line up with your values and beliefs. For example, how does going back to school line up with your broader values of work and purpose? Or, how does beginning a date night with your spouse reflect the importance you put on the strength of your marriage and family? I’m sure you can think of some examples too…
I wish each of you a healthy, safe, and joyful 2012. Even if you aren’t a New Year’s resolution fan, remember that goal setting and personal growth can happen any time of year!
For more information on behavioral health issues, or to seek assistance, go to www.pinerest.org.
Around this time of year, I hear a lot of “gimmies.” At home, I see my children creating their Christmas wish lists, thinking of the toys and games that they want so badly. In the office, I hear about families figuring out how they will get through this season without breaking the bank, or the stress of all the parties and entertaining, or the challenges dealing with children who don’t seem to be satisfied with any gift, always wanting more or something different. We become very accustomed to this way of being in this season—in fact, you might be reading this saying to yourself, “yeah, and so what? That’s just the way it is.”
The truth is, it is very easy to slip into selfishness this time of year. Thoughts of “what do I want?” become more and more common and without realizing, become woven into the fabric of family life. There is a way to move beyond this line of thinking, to model to our children and have part of our family life involve being focused on others, rather than just ourselves. Encouraging our children to become involved in the community, in a cause, in a relationship with others who have real and tangible needs is a way to move towards becoming others focused, rather than “me focused.” Our culture doesn’t really encourage us in this way—the messages of “buy me” and “satisfy yourself” are absolutely everywhere. We absorb these messages with rarely a second thought.
So, getting children involved in community service opportunities is a way to even out the off balance thinking and acting that we might default towards this season. Doing so as a family has the most powerful, long term effects and also creates the most positive perspective for children around the issue of giving. There are opportunities all around that we can see if we are attuned to them: gift baskets you can put together as a family, children that you can “sponsor” financially through reputable organizations, meals that you can serve to people who would otherwise have not, etc etc etc.
Check out “Where you Live” this weekend, as Maranda will highlight even more ways that families can move from “me” to “us and others” this holiday season.
For more information on behavioral health issues, or to seek assistance, go to http://www.pinerest.org
Thanksgiving week is upon is—many travel plans, feasts to savor, some time off from work to enjoy—these are all good things! I am wondering what comes up for you when you think about spending time with family this Thanksgiving—happiness and excitement? Anxiety and dread? Somewhere in between? For many, spending time with family brings to the surface the realities of the challenges relationships can face. I know that this isn’t the most joyous subject to talk about as we are approaching a holiday where we give thanks and express our gratitude. However, it is the truth for a lot of people: relationships can be hard and tight quarters and lots of family members in one space can magnify some of the difficulties.
So, here are some tips of encouragement for you as you enter this week with your family members who might be challenging to spend time around…
Recognize what is within your control: YOU! Reminding yourself of what is in and out of your control is important so you don’t expend all of your energy trying to change someone else’s behavior. If you are frustrated, take some space. If you are irritated that you are providing a full turkey dinner for a party of 20, request that others each bring a dish. Realizing what you are in control of empowers you and helps you spend your energy in the most useful way.
Put some structure into all the downtime. What are your plans after the big dinner? For some families, this is time to sit around for many hours, and is often when irritations with each other can surface. Maybe difficult topics of conversation happen or a family member’s habits or patterns begin to take over the time together. Putting a simple structure in place can keep things moving and reduce frustrations that can happen with idle space. For example: after the big dinner, taking a walk together, playing group games or board games, or watching a movie can be ways to engage time well.
Realize that all emotions are fair game. As people, we experience a broad range of emotions and just because we are getting together with family does not mean we can temporarily get rid of the uncomfortable ones. Going into time with family realizing that you are probably going to experience some negative emotions helps you be prepared and also can help you in having a game plan with how you’ll respond to these emotions. For example, instead of having a full conversation about the political differences between you and your uncle, perhaps you recognize when anxiety about this is surfacing and choose to politely excuse yourself from the conversation. Awareness of your emotions and owning your own responses to these emotions is one of the keys to healthier more satisfying relationships.
For more information on behavioral health issues, or to seek assistance, go to http://www.pinerest.org
