Threats and Bribery

Posted Nov 18th 2009 4:57 PM by Jamie Allen
Filed under: Maranda's Go-To Gal
Tags: Getting Your Kids to Try New Things, Parenting

3054972714_a72e699841 This weekend’s show is all about ways to get your kids to try new things. For some parents it’s getting their kids to branch out at mealtime and try new foods. For others it’s helping their kids find the fun in tough subjects like math. When Maranda and I selected the topic we started to brainstorm things that kids often don’t like and decided to enlist our experts to find simple solutions to make parent’s lives a little easier.

This prompted me to think about my daughter and some of the struggles I have with her. As I thought about it I realized that in trying to get her to do things, I always resort to either threats or bribery. At first I thought, well, it’s only a few things and then last weekend I started to count. Risking sounding like an awful parent, I have to admit that I counted at least five times in one day where I resorted to these tactics. It started with getting dressed in the morning. “If you don’t wear this outfit, then you can’t sleep at grandmas this weekend.” Then at lunch, “if you eat your veggies, you can have a treat afterwards.” Then at naptime, “if you don’t lay down, then you can’t watch a movie this afternoon.” Geesh….I felt a little embarrassed. Are there other parents out there in the same boat as me? Am I normal? What other tactics are there?

I realized that this weekend’s show wasn’t just for our viewers, but also for me. Tune in this weekend as Maranda talks with Dr. Jan Coates from Helen DeVos Children’s Hospital. See what she has to say about getting your kids to try new things and tactics that really work.

Photo from http://www.flickr.com/photos/revdancatt/3054972714/

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Jamie Allen

Patt-- You're a good voice of reason. I definitely have to pick my battles and I think we all need to take a little of your advice and give up some control. Life is too short to be worried about the little things and you're right....no one ever died from not eating their vegetables as a kid or not going to bed on time :)

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Patt VanVels

Jamie--
Life is too short to try to control everything and everybody. Natural consequences are the best teacher ever. If Sophie doesn't want to eat peas, why make her? If she doesn't want to eat her breakfast she will probably be hungry by lunch and then eat a good lunch. Kids don't really understand ":why" and you are probably just wasting your breath trying to tell her "why" when she doesn't have the cognitive ability to understand what you are telling her. I'm sure there are some foods you don't like and never have liked. So it will be with her. She'll survive and so will you. Do a lot more enjoying her and life will be easier and more fun for both of you. Children have the ultimate control over what they will or will not put in their mouth. Don't drive yourself crazy. You and John are good parents, trust yourself that you are doing a good job and things will be fine.
Hugs
Jamie Allen

That's a great idea Erin. It seems like a no brainer, but I've never really thought about explaining why it's so important. Now, it's just getting her to care about the reason why :) Thanks for your insights!
erin franzak

Sounds normal to me.
One thing I've tried with Case around mealtimes is eating in turns. "I'll take a bite, you take a bite... " Sometimes we race like, "I bet I can finish my peas before you can."
The thing I'm trying most is to make him realize WHY he needs to do things a ceratin way. "If you don't put your shoes on, your feet will be cold." or "If you don't lay down to rest you'll be too tired to have fun later."
Maranda

You're normal! I don't think there's a parent around that hasn't used these techniques to get their kids to cooperate! Our experts give some great insights on this topic on "Where You Live" this weekend. Once again, I learned something new-that's why I love this job!

Threats and Bribery

Jamie Allen

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